Wednesday, March 30, 2011

When did the Sport of Kings become so Sad and Laughable?

If anyone knows me they know I am against and always have been against slots in Maryland. When Gambling on horses is not enough then you go to Slots, then that leads to Table games, then that leads to Atlantic City. Don't get me wrong, again, if you know me I love to play Texas Hold'em and am healthily addicted to Black Jack. For some reason we as a state decided that this seedy sport of Horse racing is worth saving with tax money and proceeds from slots because of 'our States proud racing tradition'. I don't get it. Let the sport and all that comes with it die. What makes the voting public think that it would be good to have slots and go to a dirty race track and hang out with the same sad people I pass playing Keno in the liquor store near my work? I live in Howard County in North Laurel in an older Blue collar neighborhood where my Grandfather built his house in the 50's and sadly I am just across route 1 from Laurel Park. That was also a reason I was against slots, because it would have been in my backyard as they say. We put the slots ruling up to a state wide vote and the state decided that we wanted slots so 'we could keep Maryland Money in Maryland'. Notice there were none of the parlors were slated for Montgomery County or the nicer parts of Anne Arundel County. So everyone slept well at night voting slots into someone else’s backyard. It worked like a charm, we passed slots and West Virginia and Delaware passed table games. We showed them we meant business and they showed us what a day late and a dollar short looks like. Luckily the folks at Laurel Park were too big for their britches and thought they had the slots in the bag and did not follow the directions of the board to secure the slots and lost the bid and burned their bridges with the board. Then the folks from Cordish decided they could take a run at it at the Arundel Mills Mall. Holy Shit you would have thought that slots were the work of the devil and who would ever think we could have families and gamblers share the same space. Question ‘A’ was the point I would talk about endlessly to anyone and everyone about how it would be great for everyone involved. I will tell you honestly I laughed at the holier-than-thou signs of the residence of the Malls surrounding area. 'Keep gamblers away from the mall and your children' was my favorite fear mongering TV Spot. This all from the same people that voted for slots when they thought they were going to be in someone else’s backyard. I admit that my vote was partially (the big part) vindictive and make no apologies about it. So now all is well except for some Bull Shit Liquor laws, gas prices and this latest marketing genius from these fine folks we are helping to save their sport.
Have you ever watched the Kentucky Derby? It is a time to dress fancy and sip Mint Juleps and see horse racing in its most prestigious form. Belmont stakes is in New york that I normally forget about so how good or bad can it really be and Maryland is stuck with the inbred cousin of the Triple Crown, The Preakness. I went to Preakness once in the mid 90's when we drank beer that we lugged onto the infield and commenced to drink all day and wait for girls to take off their shirts. This of course was before the Internet and girls were more than willing to do so with no fear of it showing up on the computer, ruining their chances of running for office or having it sent to their father by the 'porn guy' at the office. Since then it has turned into beer throwing, Port-a-John running, river of urine dodging good time. Just when you don’t think it could get any cooler The Horse Racing Brain Trust does something like this and completely redeems it self. I am speaking of Kegasus, The Official Kenny Powers looking Infield Spokescentaur. I originally thought I had hit my favorites and I had pulled up The Onion but no this White Trash Party Mammal is for real and targeting the 21 to 28 year old demographic ‘with his no-nonsense personality and total embodiment of a good time’.
This is what we are saving with our States money? The Maryland Jockey Club is a joke and so is this insulting representation of our state.

1 comment:

  1. I lived in Baltimore for 4 years. Love watching the Triple Crown on tv. Never once wanted to go to Preakness


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